Posts Tagged ‘Funny’


Heart Attack Grill offers free dining to customers over 350 pounds

Heart Attack Grill opened in Dallas on Friday, boasting the slogan “taste worth dying for,” along with suchmenu items as “the double bypass burger” and “flatliner fries” served by waitresses in nurses’ costumes.

The chain, started in Chandler, Ariz., caters to customers who want to defy the growing concern of eating healthy. In line with this theme, nutritioninformation is not disclosed at the restaurant or on their website.

The restaurant also offers free meals to people weighing over 350 pounds. And, if you manage to eat the 8,000-calorie Quadruple Bypass Burger by yourself, you receive a free wheelchair ride to your car.

Not all are pleased with the restaurant’s presence or its message, however. Dr. Marion Nestle of New York University told CBS News in an email that Heart Attack Grill is “aiding and abetting bad behavior.”

Similarly, weight loss advocate Laurel White carried a basked of apples to give away to potential customers at the restaurant’s opening.


Urbandictionary.com Name Definition Week on Facebook

February 04, 2010 02:34 PM EST
What is your Urbandictionary.com Name Definition? If you don’t know, you need to find out.

To find out your urbandictionary.com name definition, simply go to www.urbandictionary.com and enter your name. Urbandictionary.com will then provide you with your urbandictionary.com name definition.

After you find out your urbandictionary.com name definition, then you can go over to Facebook and enter your urbandictionary.com name definition to take part in this weeks’s fun Facebook urbandictionary.com name definition game.

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SLEEP-TALKER BECOMES INTERNET SENSATION

via Express.co.uk – Home of the Daily and Sunday Express | UK News :: Sleep-talker becomes internet sensation.

A woman who records her sleep-talking husband’s ramblings has sparked an internet sensation

Friday January 15,2010

By Padraic Flanagan

A WOMAN who records her sleep-talking husband’s bizarre ramblings has sparked an internet comedy sensation.

He utters surreal remarks about everything from sex and underwear to musings on vampire penguins and zombie guinea pigs.

In her “Sleep Talkin’ Man” blog, Karen Slavick-Lennard records how her mild-mannered husband Adam “lives a colourful existence in his dreams.” After hours of delight at his nightly stream of unconsciousness, Karen decided to start taping his pillow-speak to share with the world.

The couple, both 36 and from Richmond in south-west London, have been overwhelmed by the success of the blog while Karen’s Twitter account has become a massive global hit. In the last five days alone more than half-a-million people from over 50 countries have read the blog.

The couple have now printed some of Adam’s pithy gems on bags and T-shirts which are sold online. One slogan proving popular is: “I haven’t put on weight. Your eyes are fat.”

On Tuesday night this week, fast-asleep Adam muttered: “Pork chops are most satisfying. Mmmmm! Dangle them from the ceiling.” Strange that, because Adam, an advertising account director, has never eaten pork chops. At 5am on Monday he woke Karen up with: “Your mum’s at the door again. Bury me. Bury me deep.”

His other efforts this week included: “Shhhh! Shhhh! I’m telling you. Your voice, my ears. A bad combination,” And: “You’re pretty. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty.” [Long pause] “Now —- off and be pretty somewhere else. I’m bored.”

Previous gems included: “Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We’re done for.” And: “Since when did my underwear look good on you? Take it off. Take it off your face.”

Among the top 10 musings are: “Let me hold you in my arms. Feel me squeeze the living breath out of your body. Bliss! Lovely!”, and, “I can’t believe in God when I’m this good!” Others include: “I don’t want to die! I love sex.” And: “My vision of hell is a lentil casserole.”

Karen said yesterday: “I find every single thing Adam says hilarious. I just cannot believe what he comes out with and neither can he when he listens to the tapes. We laugh like crazy every morning.”

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That saying “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”? It just got real, y’all: Gawker has multiple sources saying that a lovey-dovey billboard in Times Square featuring a huge photo of a couple named Charles Phillips and YaVaughnie Wilkins is actually the work of a scorned mistress (that would be YaVaughnie Wilkins) who wants to embarrass her former lover. Not only might Phillips be a married man, but he is also the co-president of a company called Oracle and a member of Obama’s Economic Recovery Advisory Board.

Oh, dear.

The romantic billboards, which appear in possibly three locations in Manhattan, show a picture of a man and woman, with the words “‘You are my soulmate forever! – cep’” written across the top and the website “charlesphillipsandyavaughniewilkins.com” written across the bottom. To regular folks looking at the billboard, it appeared to be a sweet declaration of love. Visitors to the now-unavailable site were treated to pictures of Wilkins and Phillips cuddling, tickets for the events they allegedly attended together (including the Obama Inauguration), and numerous cards from him saying things like “You’re the only woman for me!” (That was a Valentine’s Day card).

But Gawker started sniffing around and, through tips, had multiple sources tell them that Wilkins is allegedly Phillips’ angry mistress, with whom he has carried on an eight-year affair. Phillips allegedly has either a wife or ex-wife named Karen Phillips, who is the mother of his tween son and with whom he has attended hoity-toity New York City events as recently as this December.

Gawker got in touch with the website’s designer, Bela Kovács, who confirmed that Wilkins hired him to create the site — only he thought the gesture was so sweet that Wilkins must have been Philips’ wife. “My understanding was that the site was for a gift to Charles, that’s what I was told,” Kovács told Gawker. “She was ecstatic when it finally launched and the whole thing was done.”

Yeah, I’ll bet she was.

My, oh, my. What has happened to the days when mistresses were discreet, hmm? First Rielle Hunter gets knocked up with John Edwards’ kid. Then Brooke Hundley stalks ESPN’s Steve Phillips’ teenaged son online. And now this!

Married men, when will you learn to just keep it in your pants? 

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Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

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LMAO!

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This short spot contains some humorous moments from a healthcare forum with Russ Carnahan. It concludes with TheBlackSphere.net–Kevin Jackson–asking: “If it’s so good why doesn’t Congress have to be on it”?

I heard the complete audio clip, and it is a shame that this video cuts off the laughter and chaos that ensues. It gets worst and continues much longer than the clip shows.

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MIDEAST ISRAEL MILLION DOLLAR MATTRESS

Garbage men search for a mattress that reportedly contains one million dollars AP – Garbage men search for a mattress that reportedly contains one million dollars in the landfill of Efeh, …

* Woman trashes $1 million mattress Slideshow:Woman trashes $1 million mattress

By IAN DEITCH, Associated Press Writer Ian Deitch, Associated Press Writer – Wed Jun 10, 3:32 pm ET

JERUSALEM – An Israeli woman mistakenly threw out a mattress she said had almost $1 million inside, setting off a frantic search through tons of garbage at a number of landfill sites on Wednesday. The woman told The Associated Press that she bought her elderly mother a new mattress as a surprise present on Monday — and threw out the old one.

The next day, she said, she remembered that she had hidden her life savings inside the old mattress. “I woke up in the morning screaming, when it hit me what happened,” said the Tel Aviv woman, who asked not to be identified.

She went to look for the mattress, but it had already been hauled away by garbage collectors, she said. Searches at three different landfill sites turned up nothing.

She said the money was in U.S. dollars and Israeli shekels. She refused to say how she acquired such a large sum. “It was all my money in the world,” she said. There was no way to verify her claims, and she refused to disclose key details.

Israeli police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said he was not familiar with the case and no report had been filed.

The Israeli daily Yediot Ahronot published a picture of the woman searching through garbage at a dump in southern Israel. The picture shows the woman, dressed in a white top and black pants with her back to the camera, picking through a huge pile of trash that fills the frame about 10 feet (3 meters) in all directions.

Yitzhak Borba, the dump manager, told Army Radio that his staff was helping the woman, saying she appeared “totally desperate.” He said the mattress was hard to find among the 2,500 tons of garbage that arrives at the site every day.

He said he increased security at the site to keep would-be treasure hunters away.

The woman said the money had been stashed in a mattress because she had had “traumatic experiences with banks” in the past. She would not elaborate.

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